I make a mental note of it to consider as a hypothesis to assess more thoroughly later, when the time is right, and the client has “cued” me to do so during our conversation. This clues me in to issues of control, or more accurately, what it could mean for them to give up control. Often, I hear clients say that they are OK if they themselves do the driving, but become nervous passengers if someone else does the driving. I also usually ask about other fears, like trains, ships, bridges, heights, enclosed spaces, open spaces and so on…(In another section on this site, I explain a little more how I work, and why I take referrals myself, rather than though a secretary or receptionist.)

I often allude to it during the very first session, or even on the phone when I make the first appointment, and do a mini-assessment on the phone or by email.

Usually, I wait until clients bring up the “driving versus flying” dynamic, which happens at some point of treatment. So when I hear someone say they feel they are safer driving than flying, I don’t argue – it’s their feelings after all and I take them at their word. It’s usually when thinking, or to use its psychological term, cognition, shifts from the style of a young child to one more resembling adult thinking. Of course, believing it to be true doesn’t make it so…that’s a form of magical thinking developmental psychologists observe when they speak with adolescents about their lives. I have no doubt that many people who say they feel safer when they drive their car believe it to be true. Even though flying is much safer, and cars too for that matter (better able to keep you out of accidents, and better able to protect you in the event of one), the issues the original entry raise haven’t changed much at all. (I initially wrote this post in April, 2004 on a previous blog. it speaks of the “illusion of control” we possess when we drive our cars. I FEEL SO MUCH SAFER WHEN I DRIVE MY CAR THAN WHEN I FLY” i wish i had a dollar for each time i was told this by a client….

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